My friend Beth drew my attention to this new trend. How could I resist opening an email with the title “Is this the new dickey?” And yes, I believe the insidious scarflette is indeed the latest incarnation of “a false shirt-front – originally known as a detachable bosom”. Check out some examples:

Why do I hate these so much, you ask? Let me count the ways:

1) Scarflette vendors inevitably style their models wearing a scarflette and nothing else. Aside from the suspension of disbelief this requires (if it’s warm enough to pose nude, the model’s neck probably isn’t freezing), I’d be much more likely to buy one if the retailer actually showed me how a scarflette could be used to accessorize my fall and winter outfits.

2) I already own a million chunky necklaces that I don’t get to wear nearly often enough — and they don’t itch or threaten to choke me

3) When I was in elementary school, I went through a phase of penning my own Goosebumps-inspired short stories…including one which featured a heroine whose hid her decapitated state from the world by attaching her head to her body through the use of a strategically-tied scarf. Apparently, I did a good job freaking myself out, because I remember it to this day and refuse to wear anything that might make me resemble The Headless Horsewoman.

What do you think? Do I need to rethink scarflettes? Are these something you’ll be adding to your wardrobe this season?